This week I walked on fire.
I was at Edwene Gaine’s Rock Ridge Retreat Center in Alabama participating in a prosperity retreat. I did not know in advance that walking on fire was a part of the event…thank goodness. I’m the girl who has been petrified of fire ever since firemen came to my class in Kindergarten for fire safety awareness. I am not a daredevil. I don’t like roller coasters and I’ve been literally immobilized by fear while hiking the Grand Canyon. The thought of walking on fire to overcome fear is not really my thing. Then I discovered it would be about something totally different.
The fire walk was the closing night of the retreat. Before the ritual Edwene lead us in a prayer calling in our guardian angels and guides and in that moment I received the guidance “I am always with you.” Then I saw a flash of a serious car accident I had in college. It wasn’t like a scary flashback, I was actually filled with peace. What I got from that moment was the knowing that I will always be safe and protected. It was then that I knew I could walk on the fire that night and not get burned. Earlier that day I was unsure if I would walk and knew I would gain what I needed from the experience either way. Edwene asked that we not decide in advance if we were to walk and to wait until the actual experience when we can ask and get the clear inner guidance.
After the prayer we walk done to the sacred fire that we had built three hours earlier while chanting about releasing our mind. This was crucial to me as my mind is often very active and has been the cause of a lot of fear and anxiety. The chanting and walking allowed me to be completely present in the now. When we approached the fire (it was burned down to a small pile of hot coals at this point) I tossed in my papers of what I was releasing into the fire as medicine to be transformed. I noticed how hot the fire was and thought, “yep, that’s a real fire, it’s really hot and we are going to walk on that.” That was pretty much my only thought for the rest of the ritual. Then the fire tenders raked out the coals and patted them down in about an 8-foot path. I noticed as they were raking it out the ashes puffed up in the air a bit and my next thought came to mind, “wow, that really does look like baby powder.” Edwene had been planting the seed with us for the few days leading up to this that walking on the fire will be like walking on baby powder. She said to visualize it in advance as baby powder to prove the creative power of our minds.
Then it was time to walk. She gave the cue, “the fire is ready” at which point we check our inner guidance and get a clear “yes” or “no” before choosing to walk. I asked in my mind, “okay, are we doing this?” (I find it interesting that I said “we”) And then I heard “remember, I am always with you.” And I again had my yes. The group of 28 participants continued to walk in a circle chanting. I began to approach the place to step into line to walk and asked “now?” heard “no” and kept walking. The next time I approached the start of the walk and asked, “now?” and my body just walked to the line. I was completely present at this time. No thoughts, no rush of adrenaline or nervous energy or anticipation. A few moments later I stepped up, touched Edwene’s hand and then step, step, step, step, step and it was over. I rejoined the circle and continued the chant. I felt emotional, a sense of strength and power and peace all at once. Then my mind started to reflect. “Wow, that wasn’t even hot. It really did feel like baby powder. Did that really just happen? Should I do it again?” And at that point I heard “prove God” I knew I was to walk again. The next time around I stepped up and walked again on what felt like baby powder. It was real and I did it. I walked on fire and I can do anything I choose!
One of the main gifts this experience gave me was to know that I do have an inner voice. I know how to identify it and that I can trust it. It is soft and sweet, gentle and loving. It is always there I just have to ask. Now that is powerful.